1 month update.

Okay. Here goes. I don’t think I’ve ever willingly shared my weight with anyone. I always feel ashamed when the nurse takes me back to get vitals before a doctor’s appointment.

Mostly I think people who know me will be shocked by how much I actually weigh because I think I’ve done a good job of dressing my large body and hiding my worst spots.

The first time I realized I was fat (and that was a bad thing to be) was in third grade. Our teacher was doing a math lesson on finding range, mean, median, and mode. I know the teacher meant no harm, but I will never forget this day and the embarrassment I felt when I wrote down my weight using the scale in the back of the room, wrote it on a card, and put it on the blackboard with the rest of my classmates. We worked together to put all the numbers in order from lowest to highest. When the last number (mine) was in a place, a boy in my class yelled, “we all know who that is!” Everyone had a good laugh and I just remember sitting there thinking to myself Am I really that much bigger than everyone else? And if I am, why is that funny to everyone? Twenty years later and that memory is still seared in my mind like it was yesterday. Two people in the world know this story, and my mom isn’t one of them. Hopefully this sheds light on why sharing my numbers feels like such a big deal. On with it!

Start: 288.8

End of pre-op/day of surgery: 276.2 (-12.6)

December (Month 1): 256.8 (-32)

Total time/total lost: 6 weeks/32 pounds

Not too shabby. Clothes are fitting more comfortably and I’m wearing things I effectively retired a year ago because they were too tight. I’ve also lost 5 inches, mostly from my natural waist and thighs. I’m proud of myself and I can see small differences in the comparison photos below.  

   
In other news, I feel like a 90 year old packing my pills and vitamins to travel for Christmas. The things you have to do to get healthy!  

 
Happy holidays to all and I’ll post as I’m able!

Pizza!

Last night I successfully made an easy and tasty quinoa pizza crust. Next time I’ll add a little more flavor in the crust with some garlic powder, onion powder, and chili flake, but it was great! Fiancé liked it too. 

   Here’s the recipe I used: http://www.simplyquinoa.com/ultimate-quinoa-pizza-crust/.
I’m kind of freaking out about sharing numbers, but I’ll see you tomorrow for a weight update. 

Feeling good.

This weekend was my holiday company party. I bought a new dress (a size smaller) and felt good wearing it out. We got lots of compliments, which felt great! Here we are ready for the party. 

 
I felt strange carrying around a water glass instead of wine or champagne all night, but I’m trying to get used to that. I was able to eat there, so that made me feel a little more normal. They had a Mexican food bar and I had some tender steak, a bit of queso, and a bit of guacamole. So, yay for parties!

This morning I felt fancy and made eggs benedict for brunch at home. I’m proud of myself for it being the first time I poached an egg!  Obviously my plate is sans english muffin, but Fiancé had the classic preparation. It’s nice to able to cook for two again. 🙂

 Here’s what I was able to eat before getting full. A little rich, but a nice treat! 
Tuesday will be 4 weeks since surgery, so as promised I will post before and after shots and give you all a weight update. This is scary, because I would never ever have shared a photo where my stomach is not covered or tell anyone what I weigh. But I decided as part of my accountability in this process that I will publicly share this info every month. 

Next time: update and plans for coping with the holidays on the road.

3 weeks post-op!

 Behind again! Things are going well. My activity level is basically normal. Tolerating everything I’ve tried without issue so far. Working hard still to get enough protein and enough liquids. Some days are good, some days I miss the mark.   

I’ve been very good (I think) about eating slowly and deliberately, paying attention to the moment I feel full and stopping. And I’m following the 30/30 rule – no drinking liquids 30 minutes before or after a meal. It is the most awkward thing and feels so unnatural, but obviously I want to feel full and not do anything that would make my stomach stretch.

Trying to walk and get my body adjusted to having fewer calories to run on. I’ve been struggling with my energy level since I’ve gone back to work. I have a standing desk, which is great, but exhausting. I also walk about 2 miles round trip as part of my commute. The fact is that I’m eating about 500-600 calories a day and I think that my body is just taking some time to get used to my activity on that amount of food. 

Here are some of the first meals I made when I went to mushies. Spaghetti Squash with Spinach & Cheese: http://www.skinnytaste.com/2013/01/baked-spaghetti-squash-and-cheese.html?m=1. I’m pretty obsessed with Skinnytaste. Her recipes are light, but still flavorful. 

  
  

I couldn’t even at all of that. 

A new staple is shredded chicken with a dab of bbq sauce and mashed garlic sweet potatoes. Sometimes I add a small wedge of Laughing Cow chipotle queso fresco for a cool, creamy element. 

  

I made a big batch of Eggplant “Meat”balls. These were great because I could make a bit of pasta and serve them to my fiancé too. Also from Skinnytaste and super simple. They freeze well too. http://www.skinnytaste.com/2015/07/eggplant-meatballs.html?m=1

    
    Fiance’s portion with fine linguini.

 This my portion. I could only eat 1. 

More soon!

Life goes on.

Happy almost Friday! Going back to work has made me pretty exhausted. Definitely ready for the weekend!

I figured out a few days ago that my multivitamin was causing me to be nauseated. To the point of vomiting a few times. Bummer. Fortunately, my nutritionist said I could skip it until my next appt in 6 weeks. My protein shakes have me covered in the meantime. I also started taking a new medication to prevent me from getting gallstones. I was doing some reading and it’s apparently very commonly prescribed for obese patients who are losing weight quickly. Who knew?

I’m doing really well this week. Swallowing pills, keeping a decent eating schedule at work, and getting back into the groove of regular life. Had my first outing with friends at a cool bar/theater spot for A Merry Murder Mystery show last night. It was great. I had an unsweetened iced tea and only felt slightly weird to not be eating with the rest of the crowd. A couple of people who were there don’t know about my surgery, so I thought they might ask questions when I didn’t at least order a glass of wine, but they didn’t. 

Today was the last day I had to give myself a blood thinner shot! Woohoo, now the string of tiny bruises on my lower abdomen can finally start to heal up. Today was also my first day on mushies! Huzzah for being able to chew for the first time in almost 4 weeks.

Fiancé and I decided to go out for dinner – the first time in a long time. I inadvertently ordered an unsweetened tea, forgetting for a moment that I can’t drink anything 30 minutes before or after my meal. I thoroughly enjoyed “teralingua red” chili with a bit of cheese on top. Yum. I set my spoon down after each bite to help me eat slowly. It only took 5 or 6 small spoonfuls before I was full and I brought the rest home, including my accidental tea. It’s kind of nice how far a single meal stretches for me now. Definitely packing it for lunch tomorrow.   

Sadly I have not lost an ounce for the last 5 days. I keep thinking to myself “how is this possible????? Am I screwing this up already? But I’m eating almost nothing.” Then I take a deep breath and remind myself that the number on that evil scale does not equal my worth and is not the only measure of my health and progress. My body is certainly adjusting to my new habits and I need to focus on getting more fluids in every single day. So, it is okay and I am in control. And I HAVE to stop getting on the scale everyday.

I’ll be cooking a few things this weekend to pack for lunch next week so I’ll share those recipes with you.

House arrest lifted.

Sorry, this post is so overdue. I meant to write 3 times last week and it just didn’t happen. So, here’s a summary of what’s been going on and what I’ve been eating. I’m including some links that I think are helpful; I’m in no way affiliated with those companies.

Last Wednesday was the first time I drove or ventured away from the apartment since surgery. I took my pump out and went off of all pain meds the Sunday right before that. I was comfortable enough to drive for about 30 minutes in total and I went to Target and the grocery store. It took me a long time to slowly load the bags into the trunk, but overall it went well and it was super great to feel well enough to get out and about.

I’ve been having a lot of the Unjury Chicken Soup flavored protein powder (see below). For one, it’s nice to use silverware again (haha) and most importantly, it’s savory flavor is such a welcome break from everything else I can have right now that has a sweet flavor. I turned my nose up, but seriously the flavor is good and the powder dissolves completely so there’s no weird texture in there.

On Thursday, I had my first follow up with my surgeon and nutritionist. I was feeling really good when I went to see them and they were happy with my progress in just 10 short days. So they moved me to a “full liquid” diet a few days early. I’m now able to have things like greek yogurt, sugar-free pudding, skim milk, and strained, pureed soups. I immediately did a batch of my one of my favorite fall soups, Thai Coconut Curry Butternut Squash Soup. Leave out the peanuts and cilantro, of course. No naan either yet. I use my immersion blender for a fine puree and then put it through a fine mesh strainer. So awesome to have something with real flavor! I was finding myself seeing commercials or hearing about different foods and then thinking “Oh, that would be awesome. I want some right now!” It’s not because I was hungry for that food, it’s that I missed actual flavors and a variety of them in my diet. Being able to change things up a bit has been really helpful.

My appetite continues to basically be missing, which is awesome. My mind is blown by how little food it takes me to feel full. For example, the 2 oz of soup in a tiny bowl below was all I could eat for an entire day (aside from all my other liquids).

In a couple of days (Thursday), I will move to “mushy” foods for 6 weeks. I’m already working on prepping some easy recipes so that it will be easy to pack my meals  since we will be traveling over the holidays. Below are garlic mashed sweet potatoes that I put into a flexible ice cube mold. I also plan to have yogurt, turkey chili, and other simple things that I can blend slightly if needed, but will otherwise be easy to travel with.

I also decided to try some cereal from the baby food aisle. I’m not a big cream of wheat fan, so even though it’s something I can have, I haven’t chosen to try it at this point. The cereal is really low on sugar and has a banana flavor. Not a bad option for breakfast.

What I’m most happy about is getting back to normal life and regular activities–well, ones that don’t involve food at least. Here I am on Saturday being a crazy dog mom at the DC Frenchie meet up holiday photo. I’m in purple on the right edge of the tree. 

My surgeon highly recommended walking as much as possible, so here I am following doctor’s orders yesterday. It’s been unseasonably pleasant, so I took the dogs for a little 2 mile hike around Roosevelt Island (forgot to turn my tracker on for the first 1/3 mi). Not a fast speed and we stopped to take some pics, but I felt really good (and tired) after a long walk.

The other thing that Dr. P recommended was that I find a psychologist to work with over the next year or so. He assured me that he didn’t think I was crazy, but that this is something he asks all of his patients to consider because he believes that it supports you as you are faced with behavior changes (which psychologists are best equipped to help with). From reading other post-op blogs, I think this is a good idea and I know that many of those writers also see a counselor or someone to talk to about issues that come up. I’ll keep you posted on that.

Tomorrow, I go back to work. I’m a little nervous about being tired, about what questions people might ask and what I feel comfortable responding with, and about what I can wear that will be comfortable. It will work out. I need to get back in to the swing of things.

So, for the actual exciting news that you’re probably curious about…I am down 26.5 pounds!!! It feels great to be losing so quickly, though I know it won’t stay like this forever. I was telling a friend about my progress and she asked how my clothes were fitting. She was surprised when I told her that it had barely started to make a difference in how my clothes fit, but that I wasn’t surprised by that because I can go up and down about 40 pounds without noticing any major difference. I realized that for a normal, average sized person 40 pounds is huge. That’s at least a couple of dress sizes and a significant percentage of their total body weight. It’s not the same when you’re morbidly obese.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m pumped about how much I’m losing already, but I know it’s just the beginning of a much longer journey. I’m trying to stay tempered until I start meeting some of my real goals. I decided on a monthly schedule for sharing my progress, so watch for that in a couple of weeks.

The highlight of my week was when my fiance got home yesterday from being away for the weekend and gave me a hug. He said wow and I asked him why. “Because I can feel that you’re shrinking.” Yay for shrinking!